It's excruciating...

...how bad I miss my kids.  Today is one of those days where I want to hug all three until I can't hug them any tighter.  And I want to touch their faces and kiss those cheeks and tell them how proud I am to be their momma.  The little miss is here for me to do that.  Soon I will get to hug the boys to the moon and back....if only for a short time.  And I can tell them that everything is ok, and that change is good, and that I'll always love them and always take care of them no matter what.  And then they go back to school and I wait until the day and hour I can touch their faces and squeeze them again.  They are great big boys now, but I'm still the momma, and they still hang the stars in the sky, and they still are the best big brothers a little sister can have.

There's a lot of change going on around here.  But after all is said and done, it's a good change.  It's shifting our focus from "stuff" to experience, and bringing us all closer together, literally and figuratively.  Even though it seems like stability is on shaky ground, it's not; moving from place to place and shifting from wants to needs is not so bad after all.  Crossing out goals and making new ones together has been wonderful.  Yes, that saying that God won't give you more than you can handle...sometimes it seems like it can't get any worse and you are going to break, but then you realize perspective isn't always the truth either.  When you see new light shed on your family, the good comes out and you get so excited you can hardly wait for the next step.  We are going to be just fine.  Do you hear that, world?  Just fine.  In case you were wondering.

I had jury duty today.  My trials seem small compared to what the defendant has been facing and will face in the coming days while his fate is decided by 12, of which I am not a part of.  There are much greater trials, I know, than what we have faced the past month.  And reality for this man, a child, really, is being decided in the courts.  I can only imagine how his momma feels right now.  How his family feels.  How the victims and their families feel.  That is what excruciating must feel like to them.  I don't know how they can stand it.

I guess with all of this rambling, what I mean to say is that I know who holds the future.  So I will pray for my family, for my kids, and for our adventure.  And I will pray for the trial that I witnessed the beginning of today, and for all the parties involved.  And I will be...am...thankful that it won't be so long until my kids are all home again, and I know that what we are doing is right.

Hug your babies tight.  Every day.

Thanks for reading.